One has an ill ear, the other one an ill eye. Everyone brought its grief and its wrong to my Guru. Everyone brought his concerns and emergencies to him. Everyone was somehow poor, was missing anything to all, and many of them cried loud. One was rich, but he had a bad health. Another was healthy, but he did not have money. A third was uneducated, poor in knowledge. The fourth was ugly, poor in beauty. One did not have a man, an other no woman, the third did not have a son. Thus brought everyone, who came, its own poverty along and told of its poor situation. I listened to everything quietly and asked myself, what I can learn from all these human beings. In order to say the truth, my situation was exactly the same as theirs, poor in self-knowledge and implementation. I saw myself exactly like them, they were pale-faced, restless, ill, or rich, but not content. They did not have strength and energy, only always new diseases. I recognised that the cause of this all was the waste of the sex liquid, the sensuality and above all an irregular way of living."

So far the excerpt from the book of Swami Muktananda (Swami = ascetic living monk). The realisation, that pulls swami Muktananda from all the experiences, i find very interesting. Now however about my own text.

Already for some years I am occupied with auto-genous training, meditation, yoga, tantra, spirituality and the role of the sexuality with it. I can look back to my own intensive experiences with meditation and the associated personally changes. For this reason I decided to present my experiences here.

Here I would like to insert a few sentences, that are very important to me. Everyone of us possesses a life energy, that is so gigantic, so powerful, that we should watch our whole life in total euphoria. We live already in paradise, in heaven, but we do not even recognise this, because we dissipate and waste our life energy. The life energy is among other things closely attached to the sexual energy. By dissipating so wastefully our sexual energy, we destroy also our life energy, our joy of life and catapult us from the paradise, to the outside. 

The bad thing about it all is that most humans do not even recognise this. The consequence of it is a life in misery, depression and illness. Thus we create our own hell and complain ourselves over our life. Heaven and hell take place not sometime after death, but here and now and everyone has it in his own hand to decide, whether his life looks like paradise, or whether he suffers hell agonies.

The whole concept of reincarnation, meaning one or many lives after death, I hold for complete nonsense. It just prevents human beings to live NOW and serves the dominant ones to better manipulate and better exploit the unfortunately often uneducated and with relatively little self-confidence equipped population. Only it is not called reincarnation in the west, here they told us the fairy tale of heaven and hell, into which one comes after death, ever after according to how one lived its life. Go ask the older people. Nearly all believe in this fairy tale. Human beings are so easy to manipulate.

I wish myself in much stronger measure a protest against the existing culture, that prevents us to involve the real. That makes us all like puppets, that robs us of our most elementary needs such as love, health, social and material security, and inhibit us to act out of our natural emotions. That perverts the sexuality and that quite often subordinates the interests of the population to the economic interests of a few people. It makes us destroy our environment on a scale, that never happened before in history. It makes all natural one nip in the bud and makes us to psychological patients, who don't know anymore, what life really is, which makes us to adapted and coward subjects, who do not have the courage to resist against it.

I had once in my life the luck to live the life in its whole intensity. Well, perhaps it was only a somewhat larger part of it. But what I experienced, was so gigantically that I wished for myself, we all live our life in each minute of our life so intensely. If you want to experience the life as paradise, then you should not any longer waste your sexual energy so senselessly in the future, but you should try to grow beyond it. Your succeeding to grow beyond it, is only possible according to my opinion, if you live it in all intensity, as you always wished it in your most beautiful erotic dreams. Then at some time you lose total interest to it and things in you begin to grow, things that all are much more beautiful than whatever sexuality there may be. 

These things are a heavenly internal peace, a deep silence, an ecstatic euphoria, and something similar, which begins to grow in you. You grow in all directions and experience your true nature. That does not only feel fantastic, but it applies to every one of us. Perhabs it is better, when i not say, it begin in you to grow, but it where allways in you, but they were buried. All those who say that sexuality is the greatest thing of all, by saying that only testify, that they never really experienced it in its whole beauty, passion, animality and intensity, and they have thereby no notion of spiritual growth of course.

When in the past you have wasted your sexual energy without too superior objectives for a short sensual pleasure, then it is not easy to change the habits. This text is to contribute to think a little bit about your life.

Approximately 20 years ago I began to study. I did not pass the first exam and had to repeat the semester. This was the reason to ask myself the question, why I carried such a quantity of problems with me in my past life. For me it was clear that I had not fallen through, because of a lack of intelligence, but because of my psychological problems, that I carried since my childhood with me and that I could never restrain.   The problems that I could never prevent me from, to be, what I wanted always to be: self-confident, fearless, intelligent, to be "en vogue"...

By my nature however I was very fearful, I was only very careful towards human beings or I retreated from them.

Probably up to then I had not learned to get acquainted with human beings as love-worthy creatures, with whom I could obtain acceptance, love and security. I felt them probably rather as a threat, from which I rather backed off. In my childhood I did not grow up with my parents, but I spent my youth in different children's homes. In my childhood there was always a deep yearning for love and security, however nowhere one could satisfy this yearning. A children's home is simply the wrong place to find this security. Therefore in my soul probably existed a deep sadness, that accompanied me all along my life. On the other hand I always deeply revolted in my heart against this lovelessness. The result was, that I was considered to be a heavily disturbed child, which I probably was, and because I made problems everywhere, I was put from one children's home into the next. In the first seven years of my life it may have been about eight children's homes.

By the age of 10 years I lived in a children's home, which was led by nuns. At this time I became acquainted with the onanie. Since that time I masturbated rather frequently. The masturbation developed into an addiction. Since then the sexuality kept me imprisoned. It provided at least for a short moment satisfaction, relaxation for me and provided for a certain thrill. This was however also connected with a bad conscience. And I believe, this bad conscience entrenched myself deeply in my subconscience. As a consequence of this I could never really enjoy sexuality.

As an adult I was a rather neurotic man. I was extremely nervous, fearful, violent, my respiration was superficial, I had constantly stomach pain, headache, blowing, loose dejection, could not concentrate for a long time during the study in school, and each day I was very soon at a point, where plain exhaustion adjusted itself. Then I was usually exhausted into the evening hours and got better only while asleep. Outwardly nobody saw these difficulties in me. Of course there were also again and again times that I felt better. But altogether it was a considerable disaster.

If I wanted to do something, then my fear and my stomach pain always pointed out to me my borders, my circle, in which I could move. They said to me to a certain extent, halt, stop, until here and not further, or fear, nervousness and stomach pain announced themselves. Thus there was e.g. again and again the question, of what I must have fear for now? After short thinking of course something then always came into my mind and the fear came into me.

Towards women I was very shy. At that time I was however already married and father of two sons. I liked my wife very much, tried to be a good father for my children and dedicated much time to them. With my wife I had normal sexual contacts. Nevertheless certain sexual fantasies defined everyday life. I would have experienced gladly still so much, but I was too shy to get acquainted with other women. Thus I masturbated further. Outward I was always alert to hide my uncertainty and fearfulness. At that time I was a man with pronounced neurotic behaviour and psychosomatic complaints.

Just how should I come out of this entire dilemma? I had begun my studies and wanted to finish them successfully and I wanted to be a happy, satisfied and fearless man, someone, who enjoys full life. It was clear to me that my problems had to do something with my sexuality. Henceforth I concluded to live in total abstinence. This was well a reaction on my excessive interest in sex and at the excessive masturbation. It was at the beginning not at all so simple to fend off the permanent sexual desire. Over and over again there were days, in which a real storm raged inside of me, and it was not always simple to remain steadfast. But I wanted a way to be found out of the misery in that I was. And because I now believed that this would be the correct way, I remained further abstinent. Much rather I would have my sexual wishes and imaginations with a woman or to be doing also with several pretty, loving women enjoying life. Unfortunately I had not this good luck.

In the then following months, I succeeded in getting around better with the abstinence. Moreover I had encountered some remarkable things about meditation and I searched in public libraries for literature about that. Unfortunately I did not find a book about meditation there, but I found a book about the "Autogenous Training". I read the book and tried the practices for myself. My variations in the daily life however came in addition to this. Because I had drunk permanently too much coffee, I restricted my consumption drastically, drank only a cup of coffee in the morning. Instead I drank rather milk or rose hip tea. Each morning I ate cereals, and sport became part of my life from now on, in addition to it. Every day I ran very loosely around the house blocks and made also a sprint in between. In the morning after rising, at noon, when I came home after the study, and in the evening when I got to bed, I practised Autogenous Training. Also I learned yoga and practised it every day. Here, I would like to make an advise to the yoga-courseof Sivananda. (It's a german site, but I think it's also in english available.)

Further I showered every morning in the summer with cold water. Of course, every morning this made me to overcome something. After the first fear was away, the showering was quite comfortable. Moreover I felt comfortably refreshed and was somewhat proud about it, that I had raised the courage to take a real cold shower. So a few things in my life had changed, but the effect I had hoped for, did not come yet. Until then, I had no experience at all with any type of relaxation practice and I did not know really if something would change. The effects of the autogenous training were described in the book, previously existed with me only as a vague hope. The end was uncertain.

Lives a man sexually abstinently, he lives actually not really abstinently. Thus it planned nature now once. The body of the man produces further sperm, and from time to time, the sperm is eliminated by means of a nightly orgasm. This process is called pollution. The pollution take place in more or less intervals of some days or weeks without cooperation of the man. The frequency of the pollution is dependent of the way of life of the man. They take place in the sleep or half sleep. Because it takes place in longer abstinence usually in in a larger interval from 10 to 30 days, they are extremely intensive and full of relish, especially since they are accompanied often by erotic dreams. Sometimes they take place however also in the depth sleep. Then the man notes it perhaps first of all not at all, notes separate it possibly first at the next morning or one or two days later at the troubled emotions or at the stronger heartbeat. Sexually observes, connected the pollution usually with a large sexual satisfaction.

After i abstinently had lived some months, the pollutionen were prettier than all, what i sexually had experienced until there. In addition i felt it more in the gastric region (navel center) than within the genital range. I had left my sexuality to a certain extent to nature, and those had picked the best out of all solutions for me. In the days after the pollution all is to go hywire with me. Euphoria and dejection became detached each other. In the depressive phases i was often very nervous and aggressive. In the then following days the sexuality announced itself particularly strongly to word, but i did not give way to this demand. After two to three days this feeling faded away again, then again normality turned in. At the same time noticed i that a piece of my fear and my stomach pain, from which i had to up to then constantly suffer it had disappeared. My well-being turn into a certain extent on a somewhat higher level.

At that time i was fixed however still on the sexuality and i yearned myself, even if it some patience required, already after the next orgasm. In the then following months the interest in the sexuality, due to the extremely beautiful orgasm, which i experienced during the pollution, continued to decrease always, until the interest in sexuality disappeared completely. I had lived out my whole sexual desire and it lost thus her interest for me. I belive, by it one can recognize, as beautiful the nocturnal orgasm was for me. They got then also another quality. I was fixed no more on the sex, the pollution happened simply occasionally and resembled rather a prayer. It was rather giving as taking. Only that, which experienced this, can understand it probably correctly. Thus i was loved in my dreams of the prettiest women and experienced it perfectly fearlessly, so, as i would have experienced it gladly in the reality. The orgasm, which i experienced then, was beautiful. I would wish myself to live in a society, in that such erotic experiences for everyone are normal. Then the topic sexuality would play soon no large role more.

I would like to again try to express these procedures in other words. Normally the man is fixed on the orgasm. He longs himself for a beautiful orgasm. As soon as he experienced it, he thinks already soon of the next, that just as beautifully to be is, or perhaps even still more beautifully. If one lives abstention, then this attitude on the beginning is just as present. After some time however this changes. By the extremely desireful, nocturnal orgasm during the pollutionen, the possibility exists of realizing all your sexuality. So perhaps the prettiest women for you are there in the dream, to spoil you as beautifully as possible to fulfill all your desires. Thereby no borders are set to your fantasy.

Where in the reality are such experiences possible? There may be individual men and women, who have this luck. But i believe that the large majority of the men and the women have all possible erotic dreams, which cannot realize it.

With the realizing of the sexuality, emerged in the course of the time a heavenly silence, a marvelous peace, an enormous self-confidence and other beautiful things, all are many more beautiful, than each sexuality, which one can experience. Already soon i had the feeling that it arrives in the life exactly to these things, and not on the sex and all the other things, which one runs its whole life long afterwards, since alone these things real luck and satisfaction grant. I believe that one can experience these things not until you have your sexuality really realized, in reality or in your dreams.

Then the day came, after i had again a beautiful nocturnal pollution, when i felt, that all my fears and stomach pain dissolved. I, which as far as i could remember, had my whole life long the fear as my constant companion to the side, which not one minute yield from me, and thus make my life to a misery, was at one time perfectly fearless. This was naturally an ENORMOUS release for me. For the first time in my life i could move perfectly freely. There was nothing, in addition, nothing at all that made fear for me. This development did not come naturally from today on tomorrow, but retard one a period of approximately nine months. A cause for these changes were not only the extremely desireful, nocturnal orgasm, separate i had at the same time learned, to shift me at any time in a deep meditation. If I experienced this meditativ state at the beginning only during the meditation, then it was after some months permanently day and night available. Of it now the speech is to be.

Before however still a small excursion to the Kundalini energy:

Meditation brings order into your internal disorder and cleans your energy channels, so that you again welfare and become healthy. The strength for it supplies the sexual energy, which was not thoughtless dissipated. Meditation wakes the doze sexual energy, also kundalini energy named, and channels it by the spin from the basischakra (perineum), to the crownchakra, on the top side of the head. The hundalini originally rests in basic chakra, the lowest chakra of the seven-level chakra model (german) which is to be found physical in the dam behind the sex organs (between the genital organs and the after). If the kundalini is aroused, then it rises from chakra to chakra upward, around itself finally in the seventh chakra, the crownchakra, the connection to the divine energy, to unite with the infinite one.

If the kundalini rises from the basic chakra to the second chakra, the sexualchakra, then each sexual desire disappears. Likewise sleep disturbances, intestine disturbances, abdomen disturbances, fears of death, kidney failure, blister problems and hysteria disappear. To their place develop love, fertility, productivity, spontaneity, creativity, enjoyment, pleasures, general well-being, openness and joy alive. Rises the kundalini to the third chakra, the solarplexus in the navel area, thus all fears and stomach complaints, liver damage, gastrospasms, ulcers, kidney problems, inferiority feelings, pride, depression, lacking self-confident, greed, misuse of power, hypersensitivity vanishes and will replaced by concentration, balance, joy, strength, warmth, penetration strength and personality. Possibly forms an intensive energy flow in the gastric region, which vitality, joy and energy lends.

If the kundalini rises to the fourth chakra, the heartchakra, then disappear all heart problems, lung diseases and shoulder joint pain. To their take place of selfless love, solidarity, social consciousness, cordialness. As soon as the kundalini ascends to the fifth chakra, the throatchakra, disappears thyroid diseases, stutter and hoarseness,  develop linguistic abilities, mental clarity, intellectual order, able to communicateness, discernment and humor. As soon as the kundalini  reached the sixth chakra, the browchakra, disappears vision and hearing disorders, intellectual presumption and blood high pressure. Instead of its develop holistic recognizing, you better understand connections, develop transcendental abilities and possibly feel within the brow range a very intensive and pleasant energy flow.

One can assign a gland to each chakra:

7. Crownchakra - Pineal
6. Browchakra   - Pituirary
5. Throatchakra - Thyroid
4. Heartchakra  - Thymus
3. Solarplexus    - Pancreas
2. Sacralchakra  - Gonadal
1. Rootchakra    - Adrenal

Many people mean that one can free oneself from psychological diseases, if one do not continues to suppress its feelings, but permits, to leave it to the surface, so that they can be expressed. I must confess that i consider this therapy method for wrong and dangerously. If one really permits it, all its rage, its uneasiness and still everything which is present to step to the surface, then it is a very explosive issue. In a similar way the psychotherapist tries to help its patients, if they try it really at all and do not prescribe them only any psychopharmacologic drugs.

Did a patient somewhere become really healthy with a therapist? I have there my doubts. The most therapist are not even in the situation to be helped oneself. How are they to succeed there others to help? It may be that there superficially a recovery occurred. But in the inside are still thousand problems, which make further the life of the patient to hell. And the patient again tries to hold this explosive material with all means in chess, because it would otherwise perhaps really come to murder and homicide.

Do you really believe that therapist are healthy and know, how one humans heal? I question both. Never a therapist really healed humans. They do not admit it. Their whole psychology is not suited for anything. Up to completely a few therapists they do not even have the courage, the existing social order, which produces so many patient, to question. They are confronted day by day with the mental misery of humans, but no outcry of them comes.

You must realize yourself that no therapist is able to solve your psychological problems. That can do only you. If you believe, a therapist could carry this work out, then you shirk only before the responsibility and deliver it to the therapist. Everything which a therapist can do is to create consciousness, with humans, who lived so far rather unconsciously and superficially. He can accompany you a piece on your way, support you and make courage for you. But healing can do only you you. Beginning thereby today and not only tomorrow.

I mean, it give perhaps only one way, i know anyhow only this one way, in order to attain psychological health. Namely by meditation. By the meditation all psychological disturbances disappear completely from alone, without the meditative would have to attend particularly about it. The meditation is a purification process for the psyche, and destroyed, exactly the same as a plant poison the harmful insects destroys, all the hate, all aggressions and all psychological diseases.

All mental violations, which we experienced in the course of our life, are stored in our body and tract attention in any form. Depending upon predisposition everyone has its own disease pattern. With the one they express themselves as muscle spannings, with the other one the organs are concerned, third suffers from migraene etc. etc. Thus there are thousands of different diseases, those can be healed nearly all by meditation. With meditation i do not mean however a superfisicially relaxation, but the ability really shift into deep meditation.

Now thus further with meditation and Autogenous Training.

Autogenous Training is divided into seven steps:

Here you find a good meditation-instruction (german)

When practicing autogenous training, some people may experience difficulties. Therefore it is recommended, that the first exercises of the autogenous training, should be instructed by a medically trained teacher. Nevertheless I learned it by self-education. In the course of the time it developed in a selfdynamic way, that partial differs from the given exercise guidance. I began with the weight exercise and learned the muscle relaxation of the arms, the shoulder, the back and the legs. After some weeks there appeared a tingling. It began in the arms, continued in the torso, expanded on the lower part of the body and in the end it was felt in the whole body.

The tingling was accompanied by a pleasant multi-dimensional rotation. In the whole body there were many small rotation elements, which rotated in all possible directions, nearly, as if around each cell of the body a rotation would take place in another direction. The body felt like a large, blown up balloon and seemed to be heavy like a stone. To feel all this was very pleasant.

During the weight exercise I concentrated again and again on the internal silence. Thus I said to myself internally alternating about seven times: "I am perfectly quiet and relaxed.", then again seven times: "My right arm is completely heavy." (I am right handed.) and finally seven times: "I breathe completely deeply.". Generally it is recommended, to focus in the meditation on breathing out.

I alternated the three exercises again and again. I expanded the weight exercise then on the left arm, on the left shoulder etc. It should be however pointed out in this connection that you should not tempt to affect the respiration in any way. If someone wants to make consciously breathing exercises, then I recommend the high-speed-respiration and the change-respiration from Yoga-Vidya (all in german). About the heat exercise, as well as the front coolness I never worried. The take back, that is the stretch, loll and yawning after the meditation, should reset the body to the normal state.

The heart adjustment happened completely by itself, without me particularly practicing it. For someone like me, who was in all the years before, an extremely afraid and nervous man, to whom the beating of the heart was very familiar, it is sensational to feel the calmness, with which the heart beats then. Even in situations, in which otherwise the heartbeat would have tumbled by rage or fear, it remained perfectly calm. However this peace did not adjust itself just in the heart region, but was carried to my whole nature. 

I had learned the breathing exercise together with the weight exercise. Just as sensational as I felt it, the effects of the solarplexus (navel center) revealed themselves. The stomach pain, that had  troubled me for many years, disappeared totally. Instead a rather intensive, pleasant energy flow appeared in the stomach, that gave me very much strength and energy. The attitude of the heart adjustment and the solarplexus went hand in hand with the extremely beautiful orgasm, that I described already above.

In the course of the time still further changes adjusted themselves within me. First the greed for sexuality diminished and totally disappeared in the course of the months. I considered this as very pleasant. From now on I looked at women primarily as humans and no longer as sexual objects. I felt a heavenly silence, and absolutely nothing at all could unbalance me. I almost sailed along, without any trace of arrogance, above the clouds and looked down in pity on all the poor creatures, which tormented themselves down there in life. Life ran as in the intoxication, like a drug. It is quite conceivable that body-own drugs, as endorphine, caused this feeling.

At that time I was the best in my study, I wrote the best examinations, was praised before the whole class, because once I had found a particularly elegant solution again. It came to me simply as natural. When I read e.g. the exercise note, then I knew the solution nearly at the same moment.

It is maintained again and again that humans use only a small part of their intelligence. At that time I was probably able to use my intelligence far more than in the years before. I even would like to state, that at that time I even would have been able to fulfil much larger requirements in fact with such a desire and inspiring ability, that it would have surprised the people, who know me. Simply all doors were open to me.

The body felt loose and relaxed. It was pleasantly at ease. Since all frictions had yielded from my body, even my walking changed. My voice became very deep. It was quasi my visiting card und it was really impressing, at purity, beauty, energy and deep hardly to overbid. With my voice perhaps I could have competed even Frank  Sinatra in his best times.

Also the way I wrote, changed. Since then I know that the graphology, the analysis of the writing, can make statements about the writer. During instruction I often had write off the text of the board. At first it was exhausting and arduously, but now it was fun and it became very easy, nearly like playing.

Even my sleeping habits changed. In former times I often had sleep disturbances, woke up in the middle of the night and often had difficulties to fall asleep again. In the morning I didn't feel rested. Now however I slept deeply, did not wake up at night, and after awakening I felt fresh and well rested.

In the house, in which we lived, there were neighbours, who again and again regardless banged the doors. In former times this bothered me very much. Rage, aggressions, strong throbbing and nervousness appeared. Later then the door striking did not disturb me any longer. Inside of me there was such a peace, satisfaction, a balance and a joy of life, that were not shaken by whatsever. Also in the third eye, that is the point between the brows, where the married Indian women paint themselves a red point, I felt a pleasantly tingling energyflow.

I should not leave unmentioned that in me a deep thankfulness spread, that was expressed also religiously. I had a catholic education, lived in my childhood in a catholic children's home, that was led by nuns, later I lived in a catholic man home, visited a catholic school and was a member of the catholic pathfinders, who met in the rooms of the church and in my youth I was a server in the church. In this way I had "enjoyed" a pronounced religious education. However this rather made me develop an antipathy against the church, exactly the same as I had against the school. After I had experienced this marvellous change however, I felt a deep religious contact and had someone, to whom I addressed my thankfulness. 

In the months, in which these changes occurred, there were however also nights, that I was troubled by sleep disturbances. Also I had violent headache during the days after a nocturnal orgasm, accompanied of sickness and emesis. But one day the headache passed. Also it gave betimes pulsating muscle twitching. Whether these were caused by muscles or by the nerves, I cannot say.

In these months I had experienced a marvellous change. I sailed along like on clouds, I felt like I was in seventh heaven. There was no longer any fear, to me that was really strange. Resting in a deep, internal peace I enjoyed the life in full courses. There was no need to say anything; the language of the happy one is the silence. I remember that Osho was silent once during a whole period of 42 months. About an other yogi I read that he was silent for 30 years. What lucky human beings! 

All attempts to show to others what kind of a glamour boy I was, were dispensable. However, it was not always that simple. Sometimes I was so coltish that already nearly signs of megalomania adjusted. I sailed along above the clouds in a way that I believed, I could unhinge the whole world, that nothing and nobody could harm me in any way, and that I was the greatest in all things. Sometimes this caused that I ignored that it is better to remain modest. It would have been good, if I had remembered the hell I was escaped from, and if I had remembered what I could loose again by my carelessness. It is said, pride will have a fall. And in such a way it happened indeed.

The state of the happiness ended after 18 months, and disappeared immediately, when I got involved in the sexuality again. It ended again in the same excessivity, that already before was too familiar to me. Like a junkie I could not get enough of it. Then the ease, with which I had lived and had enjoyed the life in the preceding months, passed away and again I was the bundle of nerves I used to be. Again life was troublesome, life was a fight, and again the sexuality controlled me. I was a fallen angel.

Now still another tip, that I experienced only recently. According to an old Taoist wisdom, a man loses very much energy and joy of life, if having an orgasm there is an ejaculation at t he same time. For this reason the Taoists separated orgasm and ejaculation. They developed techniques, how to avoid the ejaculation during the orgasm. Thus the sperm remains in the body and is not lost. The Chinese Taoist Mantak Chia, who made the sexual healing popular in the west, has written some very interesting books about it. Here some Books from Mantak Chia I particularly recommend: The Multi Orgasmic Man.

I have barely experienced with the Taoist techniques to restrain the sperm and therefore I can not judge, whether by these techniques the sexual energy really can be kept. It seems to be correct that the sperm can be retained. And if one really succeeds to lead the sexual energy over the small energy cycle in the navel centre (to reread e.g. with Mantak Chia), then it seems to me it is a path, that one can e.g. walk, if one chooses for the abstention, but can't resist the sexual impuls.

Once I led with B. a monk/yogi a discussion, which has intensive experiences with the taoist technology for the prevention of the ejakulation, and which even succeeds to avoid any pollutionen. Our topic: Das Wunder der Enthaltsamkeit (german).

However to my opinion the highest goal should be to grow beyond the sexuality, to put it down completely. Sexuality is only interesting for a man, who is not able to experience the sexuality, that he always wished himself. Is it now that he/she does not find the right partner or that he/she has emotional and/or psychological blocks to realise his/hers sexuality.

Still another word about Osho. Osho was the first, with whom I recognized, what I experienced at that time. He recommended another way, namely the tantric, that according to my opinion leads to the same goal. In both cases it is about how to realise ones sexuality in its whole beauty, intensity and depth. When one has the suitable partner, then the tantric way seems more pleasantly than the way of the abstention. With both ways however the aim is to deposit the sexuality, to grow beyond it.

In addition I would like to refer you to a text of Osho, that is published in his book "The new Alchemy". There he writes: "If you really experienced the internal light, the sex will disappear. Yes, there will be love in you, but the sex will disappear, the sexuality will disappear. In their place love will come, a very loving nature. There will be no more demand for sex. If the demand for sex should remain, you did not experience the internal light. Then the internal light was only a projection of your brain." Here you can find more Meditation texts of Osho (german). Osho library

I had made friends myself lately straight again something with Osho. And then I read its unconstructive criticism over yoga. I am still speechless. As such wise human can be so intollerant opposite yoga. And that was not one of its usual jokes. By the way i speak about the book "The goose it out". and the article: "I love the usual." (this is the name of the article in german) It was one of its last speeches, before he was to be silent for 1315 days. He should have already in former times been silent. But I love its rebellious kind. In my eyes there are much too little courageous, rebellious humans. But if all were as rebellious as I, then also the chaos would prevail here. Thus i should become also somewhat quieter.

It is absolutely intollerant if Osho e.g. the mantrameditation and the whole yogaphilosophie so devaluated. That is quite unwise. I know that he knows it better. Why then however such a speech? About only from a mood? And then again the suspicion forces itself upon me, that Osho was very intelligent and interesting humans, in addition, its error had. It is only besides mentioned that Osho self, exactly as recommended after yoga tradition, lived sexually abstention. Or have you heard something else?

On the other hand I can also understand Osho. The hang on of the indian society at the traditional values, tends thereto, that no modern society could developed, and it also still today suffers under very large poverty. It were before such people as Mahatma Gandhi, which locked each progress. But then Osho should differentiate somewhat more carefully between spirituality and sciences.

So actually is does not matter which way one walks, in order to overcome the sex. On the one hand it can be a tantric way, as Osho describes it in the article "The tantric love" (german). Read the article carefully for yourself. There is no speech or sermon, about orgasm (more exactly said ejaculation), but here the subject is the melting of two loving, how they perfectly dissolve into one another in the love act, and thereby dissolve all mental and physical blockades, how they reach ecstasy and in this way overcome the sexuality.

On the other hand just as the way of the abstention is possible, in order to exceed over the sexuality.

I believe however that the way of the abstention is for many the simpler way. If one walks on it consequently, then the decision to want to live in the future abstention is definite. By the tantric love, this decision must everyone to be times again decided and everyone times exists the danger, that the flesh is weaker than the will. It is to be surely for many more heavily the decision to the abstention at the intimate get-together with the loving during the flirtationt. Many will purge again into their old habits and get everyone times an orgasm.

By the tantric love the orgasm (ejaculation) is not generally impossible, but it should be avoided as far as possible. Taoists set up some guidelines, how often a man can have ejaculation without lose his joy of life, his vitality etc.. You can reread it down. The tantric love requires thus very much discipline, since the sexual energy is not wasted by the tantric love normally by ejakulation, but circle between the partners at healing effect and sexual ekstase to obtain, those can prolongt for hours. 

A  20 years old man can have every   4 days an ejaculation.
A  30 years old man can have every   8 days an ejaculation.
A  40 years old man can have every 10 days an ejaculation.
A  50 years old man can have every 20 days an ejaculation.
A  60 years old man should no more have an ejaculation.

The way described by me is the way based on the yoga philosophy. Already thousands of yogis are going this way and attained enlightenment. If one judges of it, then one should have at least basic knowledge of the yoga philosophy. Therefore I recommend to read the Raja Yoga Sutras from Patanjali (german), the basic of all yoga philosophies.

So far now my text. But i make myself little hope, that something of it arrives you. I have the feeling, that the most of you do not recognize the substance of this text. It could change your whole life. You moan, deplore over your life, but do not have the courage really to change something. If you really would take the text to your heart, so  you could in approximately one year the luckiest human on the world, but strangely enough that does not interest you at all. You lose yourself just like i did it at that time in sex and waste your sexual energy for a short moment of joy. For this short moment you sacrifice the always-lasting blessedness, that you can possess. Which foolishness. You waste for all possible and impossible things your time, but believes to be able to live without meditation. But those, which really recognize, are hearty welcome.

In order to clarify, what i mean, a quotation of Osho:

How can you recognize whether you live correctly?

Blessedness is the only criterion for the life. If your life is not blessed, then know that you are to be off the track. Suffers is the criterion for the fact that one lives wrongly, and blessedness is the criterion for the fact that one lives correctly, there are not other criteria. You do not only need to read holy writings and to ask also no Guru. You need to examine only whether you become ever more blessed, whether your blessedness becomes constantly deeper and deeper. If is it like that, then you are on the correct way. And if suffering, the agonies, which become pain ever more, then are you on the wrong away. It does not depend on it, to believe someone; it depends to examine each day its own life and check, whether you are ever more sadly or ever more blessed.

Creation is somewhat most holy, it is the holiest in the life, and if you bungled your life, change it. Change it today not tomorrow. (Jiddu Krishnamurti)

Here i would like to insert a text, which to Svarupa (female) wrote in my Guestbook:

Hello

Which one finds in such a way everything on net, if one looks for enlightenment! I am a woman, but why men think always, only they would have a strong sex-appetite, to who them keep imprisoned. Since my puperty i look for the suitable partner, which i had already occasionally in my live, but most time was i nevertheless alone and full longing. I am osho sannyasin and constantly on that way the implementation of my true being. I also had a time in my to live, where i was free - and it passed again: I had myself concerned intensively with advaita teachings and had thanks ones easy job much time for me. I went much to satsangs (to meet with wise, enlightenend masters) and pursued self-awareness. In a completely usual lunch time with me at home happened awaking and a view of the world like it in truth is: all in all at the same time, eternally and more near than close - simply directly - in the center of everything.  Describe one cannot so well with the words of the understanding.

This highest state passed and i went again to the work, but still many such states passed in the next days. After it i was simply only always lucky for approximately a half year. The search for a suitable partner and sex was simply no longer present. I awaked in the morning full of gratitude and lucky over this live and everything therein. Although i had much in my vocational surrounding field difficulties, and sometimes difficult emotions therefore, was always behind all fights, behind helplessness and frustration this bliss, - it was simply there - unshakeable. I really missing nothing. I was lucky - and if someone is lucky, it attracts humans - so also men. After a half year i got involved again in an affair with a man. AND AGAIN THERE WAS THE WHOLE MISERY. The longing, that not fulfilment attain the eternal look for the fulfilment. My short experience of awaking is now two years ago and although i now understand the text of osho and others about enlightenment i am again fully imprisoned in my egoism and my needs.

.....and now good luck, ciao and good bye

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